Infertility A Source Of Marital Conflict - How to Understand Conflict in Marriage

What is marital conflict?

Marital conflict its definition is a struggle, clash, strife, disagreement or quarrel between husband and wife, and sometimes with other members of the household, over opposing needs, ideas, beliefs, values or goals Cummings. 

Marital conflict can be defined as the state of tension or stress between marital partners as the couple try to carry out their marital roles.

Robert and Meryl were seen by their friends as the perfect couple. They started out as high school sweethearts and were even voted the King and Queen of Hearts during their senior prom night. Their sweet, innocent relationship in high school became more serious as the years went by. They married soon after finishing college. 

Conflict in marriage is inevitable

Marital conflict is inevitable. Whenever two people get together eventually some of the belief system and personal habits of one will annoy the other, regardless of the degree of love. In healthy relationships couples tend to accept and resolve conflict. But in case of unhealthy relationships marital conflicts arise due to several reasons. When there is conflict between role performance and role expectation of the spouses, it leads to maladjustment of husband and wife. 

According to authors Tim and Joy Downs in their book, The Seven Conflicts, couples who never learn how to effectively manage their conflicts begin a series of stages in their relationship that can ultimately destroy it.

Conflict resolution in marriage

The first few months of marriage was nothing but bliss. The couple lived in the proverbial paradise on earth as they enjoyed each other’s company as newlyweds. People would often see them walking hand in hand as they strolled along the beach.

However, on their third year of marriage, things slowly began to change. Soon enough, Robert and Meryl also began to feel the pressure and frustration of not having a child to call their own.

Soon after, Meryl began showing signs of obsession about getting pregnant. Ironically, her desire to have a baby caused a rift between her and her husband. Depression cast a dark cloud on their relationship as Meryl developed strong feelings of inadequacy for not having been able to conceive after several years of marriage.

Here’s how marital conflict affects marriage relationships.

Robert also had to grapple with his own stress and anxiety about being childless. The couple also found family reunions and other occasions with relatives to be quite awkward. Robert and Meryl always had to dodge questions about the fact that they were still without child.

The worse thing that happened about Robert and Meryl’s relationship is that they slowly began to blame each other. The stress and anxiety in their relationship almost took a toll on their marriage. Far from the almost idyllic relationship they had when they first started as a newlyweds, the couple began to have more and more fights.

What causes marital conflict?

A concerned friend mustered enough courage to ask the couple to consider going to a counselor. The couple’s friend also advised them to see a doctor who specializes in fertility issues. Fortunately, the couple decided to follow their friend’s advice. After a series of tests, the doctor told Meryl and Robert that she was perfectly capable of conceiving a child. The doctor also advised Robert to get more sleep and rest periods that would help him improve his sperm count.

Like Robert and Meryl, many couples experience problems with infertility. In fact, in the Unites States alone, an estimated six million couples face infertility challenges every year. About 10 percent of all married couples in America struggle with the issue of being childless, a situation that causes emotional as well as relational problems.

What is Infertility 

Infertility is defined by doctors as a condition when a couple fails to attain pregnancy after one year of regular and unprotected intercourse. Under ideal circumstances, the probability that a woman will get pregnant during a single menstrual cycle is only about 30%.

In most cases, infertility is caused by a combination of factors that prevent conception from occurring. Based on recent studies, infertility affects one in 25 American men. Infertility cases in men are due to low sperm count or poor sperm quality.

In conclusion

Marital Conflict occurs when the needs and desires of spouses diverge and are thus incompatible. Because spouses interact with each other regarding a number of issues important to their marriage over time, it is inevitable that conflict will occur to at least some degree in every marriage.